January 24, 2024 was a serendipitous, ‘big magic‘ kind of day. I was writing the first draft of a story about a young women wandering into a mossy forest.
“She took a few deep breaths and felt her body relax. She was almost there. Her special place. Her retreat from the world. Where sunlight filtered magically through the towering trees, dancing on the moss and the rocks in the clearing. Where bluebells blossomed. Where she felt at home.“
At the same time Kathy Bradshaw was finishing her captivating piece of art, entitled, “I can smell the moss”. Neither of us knew what the other was doing. Two days later, this ‘creative collision’ opened the door to collaborate and enter the Canadian Encaustic International Online ‘Waxing Poetic’ Exhibition.
From Kathy’s artist statement: “There is nothing like breathing in forest air – its intoxicating mix of moss, earth, decay, cedar and pine. A forest’s lush array of colours and textures weave a visual feast. There is mystery, there is darkness, and oh there is light. It is the sensual, mysterious and dreamy nature of encaustic that allows me to tell this story best. I also consider Sandi Knight’s touching poetry/prose piece to be the perfect extension of my painting.”
Thank you Kathy for your kind words, support and the opportunity to showcase my poem alongside your enchanting, mossy, sunlit forest.
She brought the painting to Gran’s room, hung it where it could be viewed from the comfort of the bed, remembering the first time they wandered down, what would become, their favourite woodland path…
Large, lush ferns lined the narrow trail, sentinels to a sacred spot.
The clearing opened before them, so welcoming, so magical…
Sunlight danced playfully on the moss-covered forest floor.
Spring was ebbing into summer, the greens rich, vibrant, varied.
Bluebells softly swayed in grass beneath the towering trees.
They paused, taking it all in, entranced by this mystical oasis.
Gran awoke, surprised to see Sarah at her bedside. Her face lit up, her gaze moving slowly from granddaughter to canvas, “Oh Sarah dear, it’s as if I’m there! I can see the bluebells. I can feel the breeze. I can smell the moss.”
Serendipity — “the fact of something interesting or pleasant happening by chance”. This beautiful painting by Kathy Bradshaw and my fictional story fit that narrative in a surreal way. As Kathy was finishing her captivating forest piece, I was writing this. Neither of us had any idea what the other was doing. In fact, while we know each other from social media, we’ve yet to even meet in person. The experience truly feels like a ‘Big Magic‘ moment. I hope you enjoy the collision of our creativity.
“I can smell the moss” — Kathy Bradshaw
Sarah quietly slipped away — away from the crowded house, away from the stories, away from the condolences. She needed to reflect on her memories in peace, needed to feel near her Gran.
She walked down the garden pathway, through the horse pasture, along the fence line until she reached ‘their’ tree. Two intertwined hearts were still on its trunk. She paused a moment, her fingers tracing the worn etchings, lovingly inscribed by Gran all those years ago, “So you’ll always remember the way, even when I’m not here.”
Oh Gran…I’ll always remember the way, and the very first time you brought me here.
I was so upset that day. My parents once again exasperated with me, “Why are you crying this time?”
Gran looked at me and softly said, “Come along.” She saw me, understood me, didn’t try to change me, “I love you just as you are!” She took my hand, guiding me quietly and gently down what would become a familiar, comforting trail.
I cautiously followed her on the narrowing path, large, lush, green ferns brushing against us. Then the clearing opened before us, so welcoming, so magical. Sunlight filtered through trees, dancing on the moss-covered floor. Tiny blue flowers, “Bluebells,” Gran said, swayed gently in the grass beneath the trees. It felt like we’d entered a secret, enchanted forest.
And so, it had become their place, their private forest oasis — where it was safe to cry, be upset or excited, to feel all her emotions without judgement. Gran listened, nurtured and loved. She taught Sarah about birds, insects, animals, about trees, moss, ferns and wildflowers. She encouraged imagination and creativity.
They would lean against the trees or stretch out on the soft bed of moss. Sometimes they read or Gran would tell stories while whittling tiny perfect carvings. Sarah would colour or draw. As time went on, she began painting, exploring with watercolour and pastels.
One year Gran bought her a camera, and Sarah’s love of photography began. Behind the lens she became skilled in the art of noticing, of being present and immersed in what was in before her, and with while doing so, her anxiety would dissipate.
Even though it meant moving away, she had been encouraged by Gran to go to university. Little did Sarah know at the time, that it would be for more than four years — that her work would take her around the world, photographing people, animals, buildings, monuments, and landscapes she never could have imagined as a girl. Gran cheered her from afar, and when her health allowed, she would travel to Sarah’s openings and exhibits, proudly beaming and telling anyone who would listen, “That talented young woman is my granddaughter. She sees and captures what we may miss.”
Sarah bought Gran a digital photo frame to keep up with her latest travels and projects. Weekly phone calls or video chats kept them connected, and she came home as often as she could. Then, no matter the season, Sarah and Gran would make time to visit in their special place in the forest — to catch up, reconnect or simply just sit, listen and observe. This was, and would forever be, her favourite landscape.
Various photographs from here and her expansive collection had found their way into children’s hospitals, daycares, schools, shelters and even youth detention centres. Her intent was to do what she could through her art to decrease anxiety for children while invoking a feeling of calm and safety, especially those in difficult situations.
With time and success, she’d been able to accomplish this, at no cost to the organizations, through her own non-profit organization — the “H3 Art Network”, in honour of Gran. When Sarah suggested it be, “Helen’s Healing HeArt Network”, Gran quickly declared that name was far too long. After much debate, Gran finally agreed to the H3 abbreviation.
Over the years, many prints, canvases, and even custom door wraps had made their way into countless spaces. At Gran’s suggestion, H3 also expanded to work with senior centres, assisted living associations, personal care homes, hospitals, health care facilities and hospices.
Sarah never imagined her vibrant Gran being in any of those places, especially a hospice. Yet it happened. Gran requested her favourite photo be hung in the common room — “as large as life please!” It was impossible not to smile at her determination and enthusiasm.
It was one Sarah had captured with her first camera. When spring was ebbing into summer. When the greens were vibrant and varied. When sunlight danced playfully on the carpet of moss. When the bluebells swayed in the grass. At that moment, when Gran and Sarah had entered the clearing, they’d both stopped, captivated by the beauty of it all — almost afraid to take another step or speak and break the spell of the tranquility and perfection before them.
Sarah loved that photo too, but the file was too small to print the size Gran hoped for, so she enlisted the help of a dear friend and talented painter. The canvas was ‘as large as life’ and the re-creation of the photo was beyond what Sarah could have wished. The texture, the colours, the details perfectly portrayed the photo and captured the emotion of their special forest retreat.
When it came time to hang it, she wheeled Gran out of her room and watched her reaction as it was unveiled. Her face lit up in amazement, “Oh Sarah dear, it’s like we’re there again! I can see the bluebells. I can feel the breeze. I can smell the moss.”
A week later, her beloved Gran, her coach, her cheerleader and life instructor was gone. Sarah wasn’t sure how she could carry on, but she knew going back to their spot was what she needed to do now, and it would always be so, whenever she needed to feel her Gran’s presence.
When a death brings back past trauma and memories, it takes a lot of work to heal. This poem was part of that process. #WorldPoetryDay seems an appropriate time to release it into the wild.
The air changed —
when you opened the door when you walked into a room when you sat down at the table…
“You might think this is just a blank card, but to me, it’s a piece of art that you are sharing. Sandi has the ability to capture emotion with her unique perspective and frame of reference which inspires joy and happiness when you look at her cards.”
“I love giving a beautiful card with my own inspiring message on the inside. These are perfect for sending out to those you love for all special occasions.”
“Lovely, unique, high quality cards showcasing the beauty of the local landscape. A wonderful way to brighten some’s day, or to frame and keep.”
*Printed in Canada on FSC certified archival paper, manufactured responsibly with a reduced effect on the environment.
Whether on quiet country walks, in our farmyard or on a favourite trail, my camera is always close at hand. Documenting and sharing moments in time from our family farm in rural Manitoba is an integral part of my daily life. More images can be found on Instagram @sandiknight.
Florals
From our farmyard, the open prairies, rural roadsides and a friend’s garden, these captures represent the beauty and joy flowers of all kinds bring to my life.
“After the rain” ~ apple blossoms“Lean on me” ~ sunlit tulips“Slowly, softly, spring arrived” ~ Prairie Crocus“Hello neighbour” ~ sunflower“Spring on the prairies” ~ Prairie Crocus“If I were a flower, I’d want to dance” ~ Cosmos“Summer Party” ~ Coneflower“Limelight” ~ Hydrangea“Unexpected blossoms” ~ wild plum“Roadside beauty” ~ Yellow Lady’s Slipper“Small but mighty solar panel” ~ Prairie Crocus “Grow your own way” ~ Black-eyed Susan Vine
Sunsets
I will never tire of praire sunsets. They breathe life into the sky and bring a calmness to my heart. I love the every changing skies, wide-open spaces and peacefulness of watching the stunning transformations at the end of day.
“Wheat dance at sunset’ “Beauty does not require perfection”“Prairie Love’“Sunset on history” “Sunset magic”“Simplicity”“Prairie perspective”“Colour outside the lines”“You’re not alone”“Hopper full of gold”“Change is in the air”“Prairie Silhouette”“Unruly line-up”“Canola catching the sun”And the sky whispered, “Be still”“Brilliance”“Sky writer”“Resilience”“A dance with light”“Endlesss possibilities”“Twilight twirled her brush”“Hope is on the horizon” ~ winter sunset
Birds and Butterflies
From endangered species like the Red-headed woodpecker to the common American Robin, our farmyard is visited by over 80 species of birds yearly. With milkweed abundant on our rural roadsides, monarch butterflies also find our area a welcoming habit which is enhanced by flowering native trees and a diversity of flowers in my garden. These are some of my favourite captures to date.
“Knock on wood” ~ Red-headed woodpecker“Pause a moment” ~ Ruby-throated hummingbird“Stopping by to say hello” ~ American Robin “Land softly” ~ Monarch butterfly“Move to your own beat” ~ Monarch“Winged beauty”~ Monarch butterfly“Believe you can” ~Ruby-throated hummingbird
Crops
Canola will always be the star of the show on the Canadian prairies, but wheat, alfalfa and sunflowers also make appearances on this card series.
“Dancing in the breeze” ~ canola“Almost ready for harvest” ~ wheat“Beauty and the Beast” ~ canola and mammatus clouds“Blowin’ in the wind”~ alfalfa blossoms“Country roads are golden” ~ canola in bloom “Always face the sun” ~ sunflowers
Autumn
The best season! Cool mornings, warm days, trees dressing into their vibrant hues, leaves letting go and dancing downward. From our farmyard, my favourite trails and parks these are a few on my most-loved captures.
“Wander a while”“Magic morning light”“Whitemud River reflections”“The Collection”“Reach for the sky”“Autumn Bliss”
The Lake
Our farm is near Lake Manitoba so a trip to it’s shores is always a welcome reprieve in the summer.
“Tranquil lakeside moments”“Dog days of summer”
Winter
Oh the beauty of winter! Snow, hoarfrost and rimefrost magically transform the landscape. Harsh winds sculpt beautiful snowdrifts, and the light and skies are enchanting!
“Stardust”“Drift away”“Simple wishes”“Winter Wonderland”“Peaceful winter morning”“Snowy sentinel”“Let it snow’“The best way to look is up”“Wrapped in white”“Country contrast’“Welcome to Narnia”“Beauty in every season”“Beauty does not require perfection”“Embracing winter’“Unruly line-up”
Three different paths. Three different journeys. Three different stories.
Yet here they were, at the same opening, at the same time.
Drawn here by some unknown force. Fate? Serendipity? A higher power?
It didn’t matter. They walked into the forest side-by-side. Quiet. Solemn. Disheartened. Each carrying their own burdens of sorrow, trauma and pain. The shadows of the trees seemed dark, daunting, almost frightening.
They could hear a stream in the distance, and instinctively knew, in that opening sunlight would be dancing on the water as it rippled downstream. They paused a moment but weren’t drawn there.
The trees were calling today. They chose to go deeper into the forest, single file as the path narrowed, the tips of branches brushing against their shoulders.
It led them to a clearing where worn tree stumps encircled a fire pit made of stones. It was time to stop. To light a fire. To be together in this sacred spot.
They sat, shared their stories, their truths, their hurts. Relinquished all pain into the smoke, watched it circle up, up into the tree tops and beyond…
For a long while they were still, quiet, reflective. Then the one with long, dark hair started to laugh — a contagious, joyful laugh. The others joined in. Feeling lighter. More complete. Free.
The dark-haired one suddenly leaned to the left, swung her feet to the side, one hand on her chair stump. She let the momentum carry her, twirled and began to dance.
How could the others not dance with her? Let joy flow through them? Celebrate — their new-found feelings, unlikely connection, each other and this healing circle?
Their secrets were safe here. Sunlight filtered through the trees. Laughter echoed through the woods.
An acrostic story. (26 sentences. The first letter of each new line beginning in sequence with the letters of the alphabet)
Airborne at last, Zaida heard her girlfriends cheering as she finally gathered the courage to leap.
Being there for her today, and over the past year, meant so much to Zaida. Cancer had been the unrelenting enemy and while the fight was difficult, there were bright moments along the way.
During her treatments and surgery her astounding friends — Taylor, Val and Jane — supported her with food, visits, phone calls, messages, housecleaning, yard work, chauffeuring duties and most importantly ~ laughter!
Even when she pushed them away in her darkest hours, they remained close by, giving her space but refusing to leave her alone in her battle. Friendships like that are a treasure. Giving up hadn’t been an option, and their support had been as important as her medical team’s efforts to reclaim her health and get her to Rocky Point today.
High above the treetops on this spectacular June evening, she released her fears, both of heights and cancer. It was exhilarating! Jumping off the platform hadn’t been easy, but wow, what a ride it was!
Keeping her eyes to the sky, she saw a bald eagle soaring high above — a symbol of strength and courage. Letting go of her tight grip on the rope, Zaida closed her eyes, put her faith in the harness, leaned back and flew upside down along the cable.
Memories of the past year dissipated as she embraced the moment, feeling the cool evening air rushing past her. Never before had she experienced this feeling of total abandon. Officially cancer-free and flying high above the gorgeous ravines of the Pembina Valley, she felt euphoric.
Preparing to land, Zaida pulled herself upright, smiled broadly, letting out a ‘whoo-hoo’ as she coasted to the next platform. Quashing the trepidation and anxiety she had felt at the beginning was liberating.
Rocky Point Hy-Wire Adventures promised a “breath-taking outdoor thrill ride” and they did not disappoint. Sailing across the 1000-foot cable, 150 feet above the ground was indeed a thrill, and actually fun, yes fun!
Taylor had been right when she said if Zaida could beat cancer, she could conquer anything! Using this adventure to overcome her fears wasn’t as crazy as she thought.
Val’s wild shrieks now echoed across the valley as she was next to come across the zip-line. Watching her friend fly towards her, arms and legs outstretched at wide angles, Zaida laughed.
“X marks the spot, so outta my way!” Val hollered.
“You not only did it, you let go and hung upside down you show-off!” Val teased as she embraced Zaida.
Zaida’s name meant, ‘fortunate one’ and she felt incredibly fortunate, and grateful — for her health, her family, her supportive friends, and this amazing, empowering experience.
She stood in awe of the mountains towering around her, inhaling deeply the pure, crisp, cold air, wondering why it had taken her so long to get here.
She could hear the echos of those who had come before her, feel the spirits of those who never made it home, lost to the power of nature in this incredible landscape.
A place where beauty and harshness collide, where light and darkness create shadows of hope and fear, faith and uncertainty, power and helplessness. A place where time stood still, yet urged you to move forward — to follow your dreams, listen to the yearnings of your heart, use your gifts and your strengths to their full potential.
This moment was fleeting yet she knew it would stay with her forever. She now understood the lure of the mountains. Coming back would not be merely a dream, it would be her reality, her future. Of that she was certain.
There was a softness in the morning light. A feeling of calm, of peace, of hope.
Overnight, frost had painted the sleeping trees. The waking sun casually spashed soft pastels onto the canvas of clouds rolling by.
She abandoned her coffee, pulled on her boots and jacket, and opened the door. The air was crisp, refreshing — it helped clear the fog of the week’s heaviness from her mind.
She wandered through the yard, paused to watch the sunrise, admired the white crystals coating the landscape. How lucky she was to be surrounded by this beauty. To have calm envelope her, while the world seemed to swirl in chaos and uncertainty.
She raised her camera with hopes of capturing not only the view, but the feeling, the emotion of the moment. She couldn’t change the world, but maybe, just maybe, she could brighten someone’s day by sharing this soothing view. And if nothing else, she would be documenting the memory for herself. A photo to look back on, to recreate that feeling whenever she needed it.
As she ran her fingers over the worn and weathered logs, she knew she had found the homestead — her grandmother’s birthplace. Sarah could feel the presence of her ancestors here. The roof log of the tool shed had collapsed, but the four walls stood proud among the trees and long grass. She admired the dovetail construction — such perfection, such strength.
To the west of the tool shed were remnants of the ice house. She imagined her grandmother running barefoot through the grass, sent to retrieve milk or butter from the cool building on a hot summer’s day.
Sarah wandered through the overgrown yard site. Large leaves and a tinge of red in bright green grass beckoned her back towards the road. Rhubarb! Was the garden once here? The house couldn’t have been far away.
She continued her search and found the stone foundation where the house once stood. It had been gone for so long, a victim to fire. A gust of wind, a long curtain and a coal-oil lamp. Destruction was swift, the effect devastating and life on this piece of land never the same. Tears welled up as she imagined the horror of that day.
For now, she needed to get to the task at hand. She had promised to take pictures. She had promised to bring back a stone from the foundation. She had promised she wouldn’t cry. But tears overtook her. She sat down, head in her hands and wept.
I’ve been going through old stories trying to re-ignite my creative writing. This one was inspired by a visit to my great-grandparent’s homestead near Willowbrook, Saskatchewan in August 2010.
After accessing the free, confidential, one-on-one counselling offered through the MFWP the farmer expressed, “A true highlight of the 2022 growing season for me was finding out about and using the counselling services provided by MFWP. Not only was it encouraging to hear that such a program exists, my sessions with Kim provided me with valuable perspective and insight towards how my own mental health is connected to the health of my farm.”
The unsolicited feedback was valuable confirmation for the MFWP board that they were providing a useful and needed service.
This impactful program was created by farmers for farmers to offer a safe, flexible way to get help. Why? They understand the many challenges that come with farming. They know how difficult it can be to know where to turn for help when stress on the farm begins to feel overwhelming.
A 2021 survey of farmer mental health found 76 per cent of farmers said they were currently experiencing moderate or high perceived stress. Suicide ideation was twice as high in farmers compared to the general population.
Research has found three main reasons to explain why many farmers do not seek the support they need: a lack of accessibility to mental health supports and services, mental health stigma in the agricultural community and a lack of anonymity.
The MFWP has addressed these three concerns. Improving mental health, increasing accessibility to support and decreasing stigma are their pillars to achieve the goal of safe, strong, healthy farm families.
Since March 1, 2022 they have offered free, one-on-one, short term counselling to farmers and their immediate family members. This year, the non-profit organization would like to raise funds to support 160 Manitoba farm families, and increase awareness about the program with industry, farmers and health care professionals.
Currently four counsellors, all with an understanding of agriculture, are available — during the day, evenings or on weekends to accommodate farmers’ unique schedules. It can be in person, by telephone or video chat depending on preference.
With spring arriving late in Manitoba this year, anxiety and stress are already starting to build in the ag community. Whether it be the stress of farming, or any other life circumstance impacting mental health and wellness, having the MFWP available to farmers and their families in our province is invaluable.
Appointments can be booked online here or by using this QR code.
If you would like to support this much-needed service, donations can be e-transferred to info@manitobafarmerwellness.ca or mailed to:
Sandi Knight 